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一首关于倾听的诗

作者:Ralph Roughton,APsaA成员,精神分析师。

 

倾听之所以在心理治疗中占有如此重要的位置,大概是因为被听到、被看到是我们人类的内在需要。而这种需要在当今生活中被满足的如此之少,简直令人难以置信。所以,学习倾听吧,倾听身边那些对你重要的人。

 

PS:学习不要走极端,很多时候给建议同样使人感觉到被关注,被在乎。

 

Listen: by Ralph Roughton, MD 

 

Listen! 

When I ask you to listen to me 

And you start giving advice, 

You have not done what I asked. 

 

When I ask you to listen to me 

and you begin to tell me why I shouldn‘t feel that way, 

you are trampling on my feelings. 

 

When I ask you to listen to me 

and you feel you have To do something to solve my problems 

you have Failed me, strange as that may seem. 

 

Listen, All I asked was that you listen Not talk or do, Just hear me. 

When you do something for me 

That I can and need to do for myself, 

you contribute to my fear and inadequacy. 

 

But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, 

no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you 

and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling. 

And when that‘s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice. 

 

Irrational feelings make sense, when we understand what‘s behind them. 

Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes, for some people because God is mute and He/She doesn‘t give advice or try to fix things. 

 

So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, 

Wait a minute for your turn, and I’ll listen to you.

 

翻译:《倾听》

 

倾听!

当我要你倾听我

你开始给我建议,

你没有做我想要的。

 

当我要你倾听我

你开始告诉我为何不该有那样的感受,

你在践踏我的感受。

 

当我要你倾听我

你觉得需要采取行动帮我解决问题

你辜负了我,虽然这可能很奇怪。

 

倾听,我只要你倾听,不要说或者做什么,只是听到我。

当你为我做我可以并应该自己做的事,

你助长了我的恐惧和自卑。

 

但当你仅仅只是接受我的感受,

无论多么不合理,我便不再需要努力说服你

可以开始去理解这感受背后的东西

当这一切明了,答案便很简单,所以我不需要建议。

 

非理性的感受有意义,当我们明白它背后的东西。

也许这是为什么祈祷对人有效,因为上帝很安静,不给建议不去解决。

 

所以请听并听到我。

如果你想说,稍等一下,我会倾听你。

发布于2014年1月15日 星期三 21:08:03 感谢(0)0收藏
本内容仅代表作者个人观点,不代表简单心理平台观点

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